I know it ought not be the case.....particularly after my visit yesterday with my oncologist Dr. George Bosl who advised Lisa and me that this new journey of mine would in fact be more difficult than he had initially anticipated. Dr. Bosl informed us of the existence of a second.....huge mass...a benign tumor....a teratoma.... immune to chemotherapy.....growing unabated on its own....which will require....an 8 to 10 hour operation many months in the future.....
Dr. Bosl implored us not to dwell on this as that is not today's battle....and not today's worry.... and that preparing for the second cycle of five days of intensive chemotherapy which will commence B'H a week from this coming wednesday if my white blood cell counts stay above necessary levels....that this is and only this is what matters at the present time.
So it is a bit perplexing to me therefore to state with absolute sincerity that I am quite honestly THE HAPPIEST AND MOST JOYFUL fella within ten square blocks of Sloan Kettering!!
How is that possible?
How fortunate am I that my most beloved Lisa...my Ayshet Chayil would have had the wisdom to send me for a physical without which the death within me would have laughed and smiled until victory?
How fortunate that my beloved father's dearest friend, the world renowned liver cancer specialist Dr. Leslie Blumgart would have been able to arrange for me to be seen and now be under the care and supervision of the world's leading specialists in the field of testicular cancer.....Dr. George Bosl and Dr. Joel Sheinfeld.
It is simply amazing!!!!!
The most loving and kind hand of The Master of the World is and has been present throughout.
We will read from the Torah this Shabbos Parsha Emor.
In the first perek Hashem uses the same word three different times, (in all three tenses), when speaking with Moshe.
Hashem "said to Moses"......Hashem "says to".....and Hashem "will say to".......
What can we draw from this???
Hashem.....the Master of the Universe is outside of time. We humans are not and therefore cannot comprehend all that befalls us as we are prisoners if you will of time.
It is not for us to know of G-d's ways....
But we can ask ourselves.....are we using our time wisely?......are we infusing each precious second that we have with sanctity and kedusha?
What tools did Hashem strengthen me with over my years to face my current crisis? Hashem provided me the most perfect wife for me since the begnning of time in Lisa.....my foundation and that of family's......Hashem provided me the most precious son Adam and the sweetest of daughter's Danielle who mean everything to me and who I am most proud indeed to be called their father.
Hashem provided me a loving extended family, friends and community to love and be loved by.
Hashem provided me with emunah....faith in Him that all I encounter is for my good.
Hashem also provided me with bituchan....trust in Him that all will indeed be so.
In Parsha Emor all of the Jewish festivals and holidays are discussed and illuminated.
Herein lies the gift to us all......The gift of the methods on how to draw closer to The Almighty.
This is why Hashem says it in all tenses......You will always have Hashem!!!!!!
G-d challenges and tests us....and these life altering tests become crisises of faith....as He is indeed challenging me now.....and G-d is most certainly asking me ....ok Michael .....I know you trusted me before ......but do you trust me NOW?!?!?!
How about NOW!?!?!
I do Hashem .....I trust you.....I have faith in you.....and I am most grateful to you for all of the vast blessings in my life.........NOW more than ever!!!!
B'simcha
Good Shabbos everyone!!!!
michael
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To the happiest guy within 10 blocks of S-K:
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me! After our learning together a few nights ago, when I worried that it was late and you should be resting, you not only learned but you have transformed your learning into life's lessons that show gratitude to Hashem, each member of your family, your friends and your doctors! The parsha implores us to teach diligently the words of Torah and you, my dear brother, epitomize that ethic. Have a wonderful Shabbos and give our (me, Hanna, Malky) love to your Sil, Adam & Danielle as you light your candles, share your challah, your Shabbos meal and undoubtedly your loving words inspiring and illuminating! Naph
For 12 years, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and his son learned Torah in a cave, hiding from the Romans. When the decree was lifted, they exited to a world which couldn't stand up to their greatness. They were thoroughly convinced they had achieved the level they were supposed to achieve. And yet the Almighty sent them back for another 12 months to grow and complete their mission. You've been 'on the scene' in the Torah world, giving and learning, growing and doing to everyone's nacahs and joy. And now Hashem has sent you to the 'cave' to grow to greater heights of emunah and bitachon, understanding and vision. What Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai gave to the world when he finally emerged has turned out to be a critical piece of the Jewish people. The strength you exude and the spiritual muscle you are building will no doubt be the seeds of much future greatness and benefit to Clal Yisroel.
ReplyDeleteGood Shabbos Michael!!!!
Shmuel
I have no wise words of Torah, only my prayers for guidance and peace throughout this journey. My thoughts are with your family. And Lisa, if you need any good book suggestions, call me :)
ReplyDeleteGood Shabbos,
Julie Savitch
And today we wish you, Lisa, the kids, and the rest of your family a Shabbat Shalom.
ReplyDeleteall our love,
louise and jon
All love...all support....Shabbat Shalom my dearest friend....
ReplyDeleteall our love as well,
Howard and Cindy
Michael,
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts are with you! Shabbat Shalom! Love, Janis, Bruce, Stephanie and Gregory
Dear Michael,
ReplyDeleteI am quoting something I heard last night. For something to penetrate the mind, you have to hear it. For something to penetrate the heart, you have to see it. What we are able to "see" by knowing you penetrates everyones heart. Your closeness and love in HaShem enters the hearts of everyone who is following your journey. We are all blessed by this. You are bringing us all closer to HaShem. Thank you for that! And may HaShem grant you continued strength and a complete refuah! Good Shabbos, we love you, Janis and Richie
Dear Michael,
ReplyDeleteAs I made my challah this week, I again had you in mind, along with too many other of my loved ones, you should all have a refuah shlemah.
For you I have this to share...
The mitzvah...
And you shall love the Lord, your G-d...
it struck me...you truly epitomize this mitzvah,
which also includes sharing our knowledge with others, after all when we love G-d we surely sing His praise to all who are ready to hear. This, again you do with an open and full heart.
Michael, you truly are a light to behold.
May you and Lisa, Adam and Daniellle and all who are with you have a Wonderful Shabbos
Good Shabbos,
Jody
So Michael, not exactly what we would have hoped to read Erev Shabbos, but, as usual, you have managed to uplift us with your incredible love of and beliefe in Hashem Yitbarach. You are indeed blessed and we will all conitinue to daven for continiued blessings for you and your loving mishpacha.
ReplyDeleteWe love you all and wish you a peaceful, restful, and beautiful Shabbos.
Debbi and Marc and kids.....love from your Monsey Mishpacha too!
Michael...Wendy here thinking of you from Penn Valley. I was going through a photo album the other day and came across the photos of you and Erik climbing The Grand Tetons in Wyoming. I literally could not take my eyes off one of the photos of you standing at the peak of the mountain with your right arm reaching toward heaven ...one finger up. It is such a gorgous picture and is an image of you that speaks a thousand words right now. I'm going to scan it and post it here if i can. Thinking of you always...love WEndy
ReplyDeleteDear Michael,
ReplyDeleteYou are constantly in our prayers and in our minds. Your bitachon is an inspiration to us all - especially those of us who went without it in our lives for too long, and now work every day to make it the center of it. I am in and out of the city often for work, so please let me know if you or Lisa are ever in need of something from home, and I'm happy to bring it in for you. My father is so excited to see you, his dear friend, this week and we are so grateful that you now have each other to rely on - for all the tests Hashem places before you both in the future.
Much Love,
Amanda & Ben Zussman
Michael,
ReplyDeleteYour strength and determination are a true inspiration to me. I remain in awe of your resiliency and continue to track your progress on a daily basis. Please know I think of you, Lisa and the kids throughout the day as I pray the battle you are waging will turn in your favor as your days of treatment become weeks and the tremendous care you are receiving becomes a potent counterattack in its own right. Press on my friend...
Shiroff