It is not yet 48 hours since Dr. Joel Sheinfeld along with his skilled team successfully removed my right testicle in the orchiectomy surgery. The first night the pain was severe and I administered medicine to myself intraveneously to ease it. I now fight this orally with pills.
Today Dr. Sheinfeld officially transfers my case for the next course in this battle to the most capable hands and mind of my oncologist Dr. George Bosl. Although it will not yet have been 48 hours since the removal of the original source of the poison which has declared war on my body, Dr. Bosl intends to waste no time in our next step in his counterattack on the cancer that has successfully taken hold of my belly and abdomen.
This morning after davening shaccarit I will take my first 4 hours of chemotherapy. This will be administered B'H through the same needle, (the line having been flushed late last night to comfirm its soundness), that has served me since I arrived two days ago.
A part of me is concerned that we are moving so quickly against this death that doesn't sleep as it fights its war to destroy me. This is my mind wishfully thinking that time in this regard is my friend. Well the fact of the matter is I must fight this evil within me with immediacy and maintain the steadfast determination to annihilate it. There can be no peace with it and I can show no patience in my efforts to expunge it from me.
So the next stage of this battle will commence shortly B'H....with the rocket fire of 4 hours of chemotherapy into my blood stream. This will continue B'H in like kind for the next four days straight through Shabbos.
Yesterday was the 22nd day of the counting of the Omer....the 50 days we count up from the physical liberation of our having left Egypt to our spiritual redemption at having received Hashem's holy Torah at Sinai which we will celebrate Bezrat Hashem on Shavuot. The 22nd day of the Omer is Chesed of Netzach....Lovingkindness in Endurance.
Rabbi Simon Jacobson points out that "for endurance to be effective it needs to be caring and loving. Endurance without love can be counterproductive. Raw endurance can come across as harsh and aggressive, which undermines the cooperation of others. Out of sheer determination one may often become controlling and demanding, driving others away. For endurance to be successful it needs a loving and caring attitude, it requires patience."
Rabbi Jacobson's powerful words make it clear to me that although I am the lone commando in my fighting brigade.....the myriad of neshamas that have beseeched the heavens on my behalf....the righteous gentiles that support me in prayer and friendship like my dearest brother Dominick Madia and good friend Jon Tobin who drove five hours each way to pay me a most welcome "surprise visit" yesterday.....are true partners in this campaign....we all battle together.....and are unified in spirit and in love.
As I approach today's upcoming counterattack....I want to pause long enough to extend my deepest thanks and appreciation to all of you for your kind and most welcome prayers and support. I will marshall my every effort to soldier on with dignity and with an unwavering resolve towards nezach nezachim.....to the victory of victories!!!
B'simcha
michael
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Boker Tov, Michael! As you have most eloquently and passionately written, while each day has been filled with waging war, each morning has been a boker TOV! Your strength and endurance has indeed been caring and loving and most inspiring. We are here to comfort you, and yet you have been comforting and sharing your love with us. You and Lisa and Adam and Danielle, as well as your parents and siblings and all your family are in our thoughts and prayers day and night. We send our love to you and to the rest of your family and hope you know that you have love and support around the globe. We send our warmth from our hearts and souls and the beaches of Miami! Next year at the Eden Roc!
ReplyDeleteWe love you,
louise and jon
Sunrise over Detroit Mikey.....for you and every moment you fight! Eden Rock sounds great for all of us...!
ReplyDeleteCindy and I are with you.....old Pirates will not rob us!
Dear Michael and family,
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that our thoughts, prayers are with you all. We will help you the only way that we know we can.
Love,
Gail, Marty, Ruchie and family
Michael, you move me to a steady stream of tears with your strength as you wage your fierce battle. Joe, my children, and I are thinking of you, Lisa, Adam and Danielle, and keeping you in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteWith love to all of you.
Casey Hirsch
Michael,
ReplyDeleteAlways thinking of you, Lisa and the kids! Hatzlacha this morning! I know that you approach this phase with the same emuna and bitachon that you do everything else! Your daily words give us all chizuk and I trust that our comments give you a small measure of chizuk too! Always, my brother, Naph
Michael - you have always been a source of inspiration and strength for those around you, but the example you are setting for all of us as you face this challenge is extraordinary. I look forward every morning to reading your postings and each one leaves me speechless and in tears. Please know that we are sending you our love and our prayers and that we are thinking about you, Lisa, Adam and Danielle and keeping you close to our hearts. Good luck today as you begin the next step in your journey. All our love - Ellen, Dan, Andrew and Jennifer.
ReplyDeletemichael,
ReplyDeleteSending you Lisa, Adama and Danielle and the rest of the family our love tefilot, strength, healing and mazel. Hashem is with you .
Thank you for keeping us so intimately updated.We are in need of your optimism and battle plan. What a releif it was to find this post this am.
Retain the light and clarity.. go to your essence and send it back out. It's reverberations are so powerful as evidenced in the postings.
glad you know we are all here and able to give gratitude to hashem. I am in the same camp as those above and appreciate your bringing rebbe nachman and simon jacobson to this trek.
Hatzlacha today and yes endurance with love and caring.. that you have in abundance. You are teaching us all.
With Love kim, raymond, gabe, ilana and eli
This comment is from Daniel Luria:
ReplyDeleteShalom Al Yisrael my friend Michael,
I hope this email finds you well and over the operation. We definately need to make a booking for next Yom HaAtzmaut in Israel as this year you were preoccupied.
Saying the Hallel -praising G-d for giving us the land and State, i found myself thinking of you,as many of the lines singing G-ds praise talks about belief and how G-d can do anything, when we look towards the heavens.
"....a sound of triumph will be heard from the tents of the righteous..." " I called to G-d when in distress..he answered me.."
Michael - see this trial as a hurdle. Hurdles are simply overcome - either jumped over or pushed down...but in either case we go forward.You will go forward.
Refuah Shleima - I saw my good friend Nathan go thru what you have and he marched forward(today well known doctor in Shaarei tzeddek) and i "went thru" chemotherapy with my father - his faith and positive thinking got him over all trials that G-d thrust his way.
As we say in Hebrew. HaKol Yihiyeh Beseder !!! All will be ok.
Lehitraot
Daniel.
Michael
ReplyDeleteAfter seeing you yesterday, I have no doubt that you will overcome this dreaded disease. Your strength and positive thinking trancended your dire surroundings. The love and support of Lisa and your family and friends will provide much needed care during the days ahead. Peter and I are around the corner so don't forget to give a call whenever you need ANYTHING! Sadly, we are experienced with your upcoming treatment and can offer advice, moral support and many hugs. LIVESTRONG as you always have!
Love Buffy + Peter
Dear michael,
ReplyDeleteLike the volcano over Europe, which even the insurance companies are calling an "Act of God", you have allowed us all to stop our hectic lives and focus on what is truly important. Your blog takes my breath away and brings me to tears every day. I know Hashem is getting such nachus from you, your family and the community.
Yasher Koach- You should have strength!
Andrea and Rich
Michael,
ReplyDeleteYou have been in my prayers daily, several times each day at least. I too will be a warrior for you, a prayer warrior!
Your friend
DAN
BH"
ReplyDeleteThe Rebbe write:
" Four things advised for healing.
Find a good doctor and follow his instructions.Dispel any thoughts about illness. Think only healthy thoughts.
Strengthen your confidence in the Healer of All Flesh, that He will heal you in whatever way He sees fit.
Increase your study of the inner light of Torah."
All should go well, G-d willing. You have taken on these four steps.
Michael
All have come together to insure your rapid recovery. The Almighty, your devoted family, and a legion of friends. Most important is that you are being taken care of by the best medical team in the country. The mountain lies ahead, you will climb it.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Dad
Michael,
ReplyDeleteYou are the greatest fighter I have ever met.
In all the years I have known you, you have relentlessly refused to accept the word "NO".
Aggressively fighting back until at the end...
the lease got signed and everything you promised came true.
Well my friend you are in a battle with a tough opponent, the only thing your opponent hasn't figured on is the "HEART" of Michael Wachs, and that "NO" your not going to give in to this! You have touch the lives of many people along your way, and I know in my heart that with the support and prayers of all denominations from your family and friends behind you, and a great team of doctors.... you will beat this too!
love your friend, Joe Fiorie
Dear Micheal,
ReplyDeleteSeveral times a day we check to see if you've posted anything, and as usual, you have not let us down. You may be in the midst of your first chemo session as this is being written....what more can we wish you other than continued strength, which comes from your unwavering Emunah in the One Above. It is with Him pushing you, driving you, that you will continue on until all He needs to do is walk beside you once again. Thank you for letting us into you life each day....we are all so appreciative that we get not only to hear about your day, but that we have the chance to share with you our thoughts as well. What can we say? We think you're beyond incredible......your courage gives all of us so much inspiration and a much needed boost of Bitachon. Continue to inspire us as you climb your hill.....We love you and think about you, Lisa and the kids constantly. <3 Debbi and Marc
Dear Michael, I sat today with my dearest friend of 35 years, Risa Goldman, as she rec'd her chemo treatment for the week. She had recently learned that our friend, David Epstein, a"h, learned Mishlei on the phone with someone while receiving his chemo. So we, Risa and I, learned Mishlei together too. I was thinking that you can turn those 4 hour battles into some learning too, although it wouldn't surprise me if you already were! You are such an inspiration. All my prayers, Janis
ReplyDeletewishing you a full recovery, strength, humor and love. all the foster family
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDear Michael, just wanted to let you know that David think about you constantly. We are so grateful that you share your day in such detail and allow us to be inspired by your clarity and courage. Having challenges somehow forces us to prioritize and count our brachos. I hope today was not unbearable. We are davening for you daily and hope to be able to visit you soon IY"H.
ReplyDeleteG-d Bless
Tanya
Dear Michael,
ReplyDeleteThis is truly an amazing means of communication that does not harrass you with phone calls but keeps you connected. I just want you to know that we are praying for you and that we are inspired by your spiritual path and the chizuk (strength) that you exude. May Hashem provide you with a refuah for your guf - your body and your neshama - your soul. Thank you for sharing your courageous approach to overcoming this illness.
Bracha
Michael, Lisa, Danielle and Adam-Our love and prayers are with you all. Michael, you continue to teach us and shown us a way to live and appreciate each day. Your strength, resolve and tenacity are inspirational. We are with you all the way. Naomi, Alana, Rebecca and Sara.
ReplyDeleteHi Michael,
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful story to read! The eloquent personal journal you share with others is a most humbling experience. My prayer for your refuah goes out in full measure. You show courage and strenght. With gratitude in the blessings from Hashem for your family and circle of friends - Get well soon!
Sincerely,
Larry
michael,
ReplyDeleteTonight,
as i think of you starting chemo I recite psalm 23, Hashem is my sheperd, and will continue to do so in your name for the next 3 months. I think of you all often and pray your fight is as painless as it could possibly be. much love, lori a
Michael
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
Alan, Bonnie, Allison & Mitchell
michael, lisa, adam and danielle,
ReplyDeleteas shabbas approached us here in Jerusalem, 7 hours earlier than where you are at..
i read how shabbas is a time for healing ourselves and for sending healing to others, it is also a time when we get an extra soul so, hope there is space in that hosptial bed for an extra soul to embrace you and your healing body.....i sing your praises along with pey dalid and am in owe of your courage
and tenacity to fight the poison.
i am so proud to be your friend and witness your fight, a loving and gentle battle,like rav jacobson says....as we all battle our yetzer hara's on a daily basis...you are giving us all valuable and useful tools.
anything you need from the holy land, let me know...
Jerusalem is praying with you as well and we will all be dancing yachad, soon enough...
tova and family
Hey Michael,
ReplyDeleteI just got off the phone with you a few minutes ago and the right words escape me now. Reading your blog has put tears in my eyes realizing the inner strength and good spirits you are maintaining throughout this trying personal ordeal.
As you always like to say to me "What about The Kid...what's it gonna be for The Kid?"
Well, all I know is that 'The Kid' sounded very strong, both physically in your voice and mentally with your positive attitude. That is the toughness and tenancity of the original 'street hustler' that I have admired and respected since I first met you many moons ago (can't remember if it was a new moon or probably the kind you see after a Grateful Dead show). There's no doubt in my mind that you will come thru this. Ya
gotta....whose else is gonna be my in my corner when I need the Jewish persepctive, advice & counseling to keep the peace with the 'Mad Russian'?
Gotta jump for now but will be checking in with you now and then. Keep writing and I'll keep reading reading your inspirational daily commentary.
Keep the faith Brother Bear. Peace.
LJS