Danielley.....my sweetest and most precious Danielle.....
Last night as mama tucked you in on the 2nd night of Shavuos....here in our tiny one room apartment the four of us now share on Shabbos and Yom Tovim....I overheard you asking mama..."is daddy going to get better?"....
I want you to know my baby girl that papa will get better.
I know it doesn't appear that way at the moment.....but papa....with the help of Hashem will indeed rise in good health once again.
Remember my best girl...that as much as I love you, Adam and mama...Hashem loves papa and our family.
I'm so sorry that I couldn't much leave my bed this Shavuos and had to daven by my bedside as I could not muster the physical strength to walk to Shul for the first time ever.
But my sweet Danielle this is not the complete picture. These difficulties our family and papa are currently encountering are a clear sign that Hashem cares deeply about us and that we are indeed beloved sons and daughters of Hashem. We must never ever forget that Hashem does everything for our benefit so we shouldn't ever get dejected.
There is only reason to be optimisitc and joyful!!
Wasn't it wonderful to laugh so many times together with mommy, Adam and I over Shavuos?
I will never forget that it was the 13th day of the Omer when I learned that I had cancer.
The 13th day!!!
This is most certainly not a coincidence....13....which of course signifies...
Son of the commandments!!
Hashem in His most benevolent and overwhelming love for us is calling to us...calling to papa.... we mustn't ever forget this....even when things might appear otherwise.
All Hashem wants from us is to see us truly turn to Him and to be close to Him.
Yes we were close to Hashem before....but now Hashem is hoping for an even deeper and more meaningful relationship with us because He loves us so.
So I tell you again my best girl in the world....papa's going to get well.
At the moment this is not the case with me physically...but my neshama is strong and your neshamas....yours, Adam's and Mommy's are strong as well and together we stand as an unbelievable force.
We will always be together. No matter what!!
Remember when I told you that even though it might appear as if Hashem is squeezing the very life out of papa....the opposite is actually the truth.
Just as we press olives to make olive oil......the olive oil is used for a far more lofty purpose once transformed into oil....namely becoming fuel for the holy mennorah.
Similarly, when we squeeze grapes with the intention of making wine....the grape is metamorphosized into the only vessel with which we can make boreh pri ha'gafen.....as we offer praise to Hashem's name at an even higher level.
This is exactly what is happening to papa.
As Rebbi Nachman points out "life must be a continuous progression from level to level. It is an inevitable part of this progress that before any rise must be a fall".
Papa has indeed fallen physically as you know.....and I expect that I will fall lower still....but I am aware that this all comes from the magnanimity of Hashem's vast storehouse of rachamim and kindness.
This is all in an effort for papa and our family to return and soar higher than ever before.
Remember what Hashem says to us...his beloved children in Parshas Yitro, "I have borne you on the wings of eagles and brought you to Me".
On the wings of eagles...this indicates Hashem's deep love for His children as only the eagle conquers the skies with its young on its back to protect them from harm.
So to Hashem loves and protects us.
Therefore we mustn't ever despair because we must remember that Hashem loves us and that all that happens...as difficult as it may be at times for us to see...is all for our good.
Let me close by reminding you of what is inscribed on the ring which you wear so proudly and love so much. The ring mommy and I bought for you in Jerusalem a few years ago.
Its inscription reads...
"Lo lishcoach mishpacha zeh koach.....Don't forget the strength of this family".
Hashem knows how much we love one another Danielle....Hashem feels this love that burns at our core for one another....and Hashem recognizes the strength within our small but incredibly vibrant family unit.
Hashem also knows that we are pleading with Him to protect papa....and not to forget or forsake us. He sees and feels how much we want to continue on together.
I have absolute faith and trust that Hashem will allow this to be.
It was a most beautiful Shavuos....I pray that we will be blessed to celebrate many many more together my most precious daughter Danielle.
All my love
B'simcha
papa
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Kiss Danielle for me. What a sweetie she is. Keep fighting you have so much to fight for and so many rooting for you. As I read and write this from Hong Kong I cannot help but cry a small cry along with a smile for u Michael. I know u will beat this ... You love ur family too much not to get through this for them
ReplyDeletelove to you and kisses for Danielle , Lisa and Adam. Font forget our hike in Rainier!!!
Iris
Michael,
ReplyDeleteThis was a work of art. So tenderly composed. As shabbat comes again tonight.. I am praying for your refuah shelemah and sending you all our healing power. Hug danielle, Lis a and adam and I pray and cry that your words reach the heavens and comfort Danielle. ( and all of us too) your wisdom is cultivated from the prism of torah and is inspiring us all to new levels..we will be thinking of you all.
love
kim
My fellow spirit,
ReplyDeleteI don't know how long it took you to write these words coming from an ever-growing student of Torah, from a boundless heart that loves his family in a way that is inspiring, humbling and challenging to all parents, and from a place of trust in Hashem that few of us possess. There are people in the Talmud who did not have smicha, but by their words and deeds merited being called "Rebbi" by their peers. You are our "Rebbi" in how to deal with very real adversity and how to unselfishly seek to comfort and raise up the weaker among us who love you so much but feel powerless or dejected that you are TEMPORARILY not the outward Michael we have been so used to seeing. I trust and hope that when you beloved Danielle reads this post so lovingly composed she will grasp onto and sing out her praises and realize her brochos - it is the yetzer hara that loves negativity and, next to your authentic devotion and love, there is the optimism that comes from the depths of your holy soul that she undoubtedly is reminded as you laugh, cry, inspire and embrace the dear family that is by your side. Yasher koach to you, Michael, and thank you, Rebbi, for your singularly uplifting words, for being YOU!
A guten erev Shabbos, Naphtali
Michael as I sit here with the inability to swallow from emotion I can relate to how Danielle is feeling. Being a child in the same situation watching a parent weakened by the poison of chemo. I am at the same time inspired, the same way I was by my father, by the grace, strength and honesty you show your children and the rest of us in your community. Know for certain that this 'lesson' you teach your children will leave a positive impact on their lives. I know Danielle will glow as you place your hands on her head tonight and bestow on her the blessing in your beautiful voice. My love to you, Sil, Adam and Danielle. Good Shabbos.
ReplyDeleteThursday
ReplyDeleteIn 1781 Lee spoke in resounding tones, about George Washington. "First in War, First in Peace and First in the Hearts of His Country Men."
There is a message there that reminds me of you. "First in this fight against a disease, First in your magnificant family and First in the hearts of our Jewish Community.
Love,
Dad
Friday
ReplyDeleteLife is an open book, in which you can write what you will. You have given in many ways life new meanings.
Love,
Dad
Michael,
ReplyDeleteAs Seneca (the Roman philosopher) is attributed with saying: “every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end”. "Life is, in many ways, like a book: it is made up of a number of chapters; there's a beginning, a middle and an end;"
The pages are blank until we fill them in. Your book Michael "of life" has many chapters, this is just one of many. Keep up the fight,never give up and your writings are an inspiration to me. Good Shabbos
dear brother:
ReplyDeleteYesterday in schul, I couldn't help but be moved by the words of the prophets, at the end of the Haftorah, spoken for us all, and in particular to you:
"But I shall exult in Hashem, I shall rejoice in the G-d of my salvation. My Lord, Hashem/Elohim, is my army; Hashem shall make my legs like the harts' and make me walk upon my high places- for the Conductor of my sweet songs."
Or as is sometimes said, "Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul..."
Good Shabbos.
love you, brother phil
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for everything you do for the family - especially finding my ring!! have a wonderful shabbos well call you soon! love love love
ReplyDeleteBH"
ReplyDeleteMichael,
Beautiful words once again, full of meaning for all of us.
Shacharit Shabbos davening reads:
"He will cover you with His pinions and you will find refuge under His wins; His truth is a shield and an armor. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, the pestilence that prowls in the darkness, nor the destruction that ravages at noon. A thousand may fall at your [left] side, and ten thousand at your right, but it shall not reach you. You need only look with your eyes, and you will see the retribution of the wicked. Because you (have said), 'The L-rd is my shelter,' and you have made the most high your haven, no evil will befall you, no plague will come near your tent. For He will instruct His angels in your behalf; to gaurd you in all your ways......"
This is the point in davening I think of you most. Please pass this on to Danielle, as these words are the words and promise that have kept us going for centuries. G-d's promise to keep us & stand by us in our time of need.
Please extend a good Shabbos to all of your family.
Be well.
The Molinari's
Mikey.....Phil said it best....and I will humbly repeat it: "Listen to river sing sweet songs to rock my soul!"
ReplyDeleteYours is a ballad of life, survival and the enduring spirit of longevity and generations! You have indeed, "paint(ed)(a) masterpiece!"
Dear Wach's,
ReplyDeleteI have no words to match yours, only to say from our hearts that we
wish you all a wonderful, peaceful and restful shabbos.
THinking of you and davening for your refuah shelaimah constantly.
Lots of love
The Libesman clan
Michael,
ReplyDeleteJust...Wow. Shabat Shalom.
Love, Jon & Louise
All this Shabbos you were on my mind. What you derive from each chag or Shabbos you are with your family is an inspiration to me on how to.....be. May we all learn to "be" like Michoel ben Yehudis Miriyam! Thank you for your example. Janis and Richie
ReplyDeleteA Gut Vuch to you all! Michael, you were "with" us all of Shavuos and friday night, our zemiros, sung loud and joyfully, were in the zechus of a refuah sheleimah for you. Isaac asks about you all the time...he really thinks of you. We know how strong the love for your family , and Hashem, is.....it is always evident and always on the forefront of your emotions. It is that love that you give, and receive, that will continue to push you so that everthing you say to Danielle will be.
ReplyDeleteAll our love~ Debbi and Marc
Michael,
ReplyDeleteYour absence is so missed in the neighborhood but your presence hovers over all of us. This past Shabbos in Naftali's shir he talked about why we bless our sons to be like Efriam and Meneshe. Then he mentioned having Lisa and Adam for dinner and how when he offered to bless Adam and he said you already did over the phone. ( That works, Naftali said) At that moment Ariel Sternberg said something that I always feel when you are blessing your children. She said if you have ever seen michael wachs bless his children it's as if you are invading on a private moment. Adam, who is taller then Michael leans his head on Michaels shoulder, closes his eyes and Michael is clearly a conduit from hashem.
Anyone who has been lucky enough to experience that moment knows exactly what she was talking about. How lucky your children are to get those blessings each week. And how blessed we have been to witness it. Actions speak louder then words and although you are physically in NY, you are here as well.
come home soon. OK.
lots of love,
Andrea
Michael, you are missed here at the ICSC. Your spirit is here and I look forward to next year when you are back in person. I hope today is a day that gives you more strenth.
ReplyDeletelove you!
michael, lisa, daneille and adam,
ReplyDeletesending you blessings from Jerusalem, not only on the wings of eagels, though on the wings of every angel here and they are flying high and mighty in honor of your courage and tenacity in fighting this cancer.
They bring from the heavens, strong and healthy cells to now swim freely in your bloodstream.
Each day, your team here in the promise land says tehillim in honor of your healing. Like King David, small and mighty and strong, you are..
Your emuma and faith in Hakodosh Baruchu is so inspiring to all of us and we are witnessing through you ....living proof that Hashem will and can heal you even stronger.
all our love and blessings, tova, dara and daniella