This morning I will meet with my surgeon Dr. Joel Sheinfeld.
Dr. Sheinfeld has advised me that the surgery he must perform on my belly is indeed....major surgery by all measures....in both its complexity and its duration. It will take between nine and fourteen hours to complete.
This surgery will take place approximately three to six weeks after the last of my four cycles of chemotherapy are completed and the scans and tests indicate that the surgery is indeed the next proper means of attack.
That said, it is difficult to wrap my mind around the magnitude of all of this at the moment and despite my visit today with Dr. Sheinfeld I prefer to focus on my next round of chemotherapy, (my third), which will commence B'H this coming Wednesday, June 2nd.
Despite the weight of my current situation, the warmth of all of the blessings that Hashem continues to send me is truly all that I feel.
It is not for me to offer advice....but many of us speak of creating balance in our lives. I do this as well. This is so very important. Some of us are more successful in accomplishing this goal than others. We of course have a body and a soul.....a gouf and a neshama. Both need to be nurtured and cared for. Many it seems neglect one or the other....and we do this at our peril.
I neglected my body for some years.....assuming foolishly that this physical vessel of mine was like an everready battery which needed no attention and required no "real" care. I was much more focused on my neshama....on my learning....on my new derech....on connecting to Hashem and to those I love.
The hebrew word for soul...neshama.....has as its root the word shem....which means name. One can not understand ones name...and on a much deeper level...ones very essence without delving into the wisdom of the holy Torah and having a true, deep and real relationship with The Master of the Universe.
But this is not all Hashem wants for us....in His abundant chachma and wisdom Hashem makes it unequivocally clear that balance and harmony in ALL aspects of our lives is the paramount goal.
One beautiful manifestation of this is when parents bless their sons Erev Shabbos moments before reciting kiddush.
When we place our hands on the heads of our sons we say, "Y'simacha Elohim k'Ephraim v'Menasheh....May Hashem make you like Ephraim and Menasseh".....quite different from when we bless our daughters when we ask that Hashem make them like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.....our matriarchs.
Why do we say this?....and what does this teach us?
Ephraim....the younger son....was a stalwart in Torah...a true Torah giant who devoted his life to learning the holy texts.
Menasseh...the older son....whose own Judaism was indeed his very essence.... was a man of commerce....comfortable in this world....both Jewish and non Jewish....
Hashem is therefore teaching us...imploring us actually... to reach that harmonious balance in All aspects of our lives.
That harmony.... will result in clear minds, joyful days and a true peace and real contentment.
May we all enjoy the blessing of a truly unified and harmonized body and soul.
B'simcha
michael
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ReplyDeleteMichael,
The previous Lubavitcher Rebbe writes for this coming Shabbos, Sivan 16 the following:
"The early sages, who were like angels1 (may their merit protect us) have already determined that the healing of the soul is like the healing of the body:
The crucial first step is to identify the location of the illness, whether it is caused by the crassness, grossness and corruption of his physical body or by a failing in his soul-powers, the person being inclined to undersirable traits like arrogance or falsehood and the like. Or, the source of the malady may be habit - inadequate rearing or unwholesome environment having brought on bad habits.
Without ascertaining the specific site of the illness and the cause of infection, it is impossible to embark on a cure. One can only prescribe an orderly proper conduct in all matters, what to do and what to avoid. To "do good"2 in terms of observing mitzvot, designating times for Torah-study and acquiring good character traits - and also to "turn away from evil."3
Most urgent of all, however, is that the patient make himself aware of two things: a) to know that he is ill, and desire most fervently to be cured of his malady; b) to know that he can be cured, with hope and absolute trust that, with G-d's help, he will indeed be cured of his sickness."
As I sit and comtemplate what more to write during this time the resounding theme of it all is trust in Hashem. As a matter of fact at times this seeems so simplistic, almost as if G-d forbid repetitive. It is not repetitive, we all must trust in Hashem. We might never figure this out, or understand why Hashem has given us any blessings, but we do know that it is all a blessing. You even write today before you mention commencing your next round of chemo, "Baruch Hashem." Your acknowlledgement of all you have, all you're going through as a blessing from the Almighty brings me back to what the previous Rebbe said above, "to know that he can be cured, with hope and absolute trust that,With G-d's help, he will indeed be cured of his sickness."
Thank you for helping me realize that all we have, no matter good or not so good are all blessings from Hashem. This truly is a life lesson to pass on to our family and friends.
Be well.
Michael & Jody.
Michael, I just wanted to let you know that Bruce and I are thinking and praying for you. You and your lovely family are in my thoughts often. I had a wonderful chat with Lisa last week. Have a restful Shabbos weekend!
ReplyDeleteOur body needs our soul and our soul needs our body. We need each (in balance and healthy) to fulfill our purpose here on this earth. The soul needs the body to do the mitzvot. The body needs the soul to direct it towards the best way to serve Hashem. Like you said, or "maintainance" is to keep both our bodies and souls healthy. May Hashem grant you the health you need to continue to serve Him. Have a great Shabbos! Janis and Richie
ReplyDeleteOnce again..... wise words, Michael. Always tricky to maintain the balance, but you seem to be nurturing all the elements.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a beautiful Shabbat , filled with love, joy, comfort and peace.
All our love,
louise and jon
Like the great Watchtower you look out from, (and you know exactly what I mean).....keep on truckin' on...and on.....!
ReplyDeleteStanding strong....
Love,
H Man
Traveling cross-country and into Shabbos, I only read your post last night and pondered if I should post a comment to yours that was 4 days old or wait for the next one! Did not wait! Reading yours from start to finish is like going on a spiritual journey - there is first the battle - we all face it daily, but yours is more palpable; there is the love and gratitude of Hashem's blessings (always present)manifested in your Lisa and children. Shabbos gives us an opportunity to see that Reality clearly! And - then is your chessed to us all, inspiring us to put our own lives into perspective by vicariously experiencing your journey - we should always, as you so well do, keep close to our hearts our blessings and have bitachon when we have to confront our demons. Love ya, brother, Naph
ReplyDeletemichael and wachs mispacha,
ReplyDeletethank you for your stunning expression of not only last weeks parsha but your comments on all the parshas. I learn so much from you.
you have an amazing ability to take from torah the pearls of wisdom and bring them to life, so we can understand more clearly how Hashem spoke in those days.
You were deafintly there at Mt Sinai and on that long and difficult journey in the desert.
You remember better than most of us.
Hashem has sent you on another journey and you are now victorious against all the challenges you are faced with.
Thank you for commenting on harmony and balance and i admire your humility in recognizing that you may have not been balanced in your past. Only, Hashem can judge that.
You will be given a second and third chance, for sure, because you are tov and you are one of the chosen.
Soon, I will see you and your family here in Jerusalem where the sun beams down rays of healing and blessings daily, as we continue to pray for your healing, say tehillim and
honor your journey.
all our love,
tova, dara and daniella